How to Cope with Not Being Able to Travel With Your Travel Buddy

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It was just a few days ago when I drove and dropped off my travel buddy for her backpacking trip. I know what you must be thinking, “Why didn’t you go with her?” Trust me, I’ve asked myself the same thing. Why didn’t I go?

But the truth is: sometime life can get in the way, you may have commitments, maybe you have medical issues, you are completely broke or it could just be that you are holding yourself back. Regardless of the reasons it may be, it still sucks when you can’t travel with your travel buddy. Keep in mind, travel buddy can mean friends, siblings, boyfriend/ girlfriend, husband/wife, etc.

Here are the ways on how to cope with not being able to travel with your travel buddy:

Photo Copyrights belong to Jillian Gordy

1) Accept it

Before Stacey had left for her backpacking trip, I had mixed emotions: I was happy for her but at the same time I was feeling sad, mad at myself, jealous, etc. At one point, I thought to myself that it’s not fair. It is so easy to give in to these emotions. But I ask myself, “why do I want to make myself feel bad and complain when I have no control over the situation? Is it really worth my time to continue putting myself through this misery?

Regardless of all my different emotions, I had to learn to just… Accept it. Once you are able to accept the situation, it becomes easier to deal with it.  Your feelings will change so you can become more positive. You may not be able to control the situation but you CAN control your thoughts and feelings.

So don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself not being able to travel at the moment. Remember, it’s never really too late to travel when an opportunity arise.

2) Don’t let jealousy take over you

Let’s be honest, we all get a little jealous of one another when we find out that one person has been to a place we haven’t been.  Jealousy is not a great feeling to have so why carry it around with you? It normally leads to another feeling such as anger, resentment, unhappiness and negative thinking, which in turn, can affect your way of living life and being healthy – mentally and emotionally.

Jealousy is a natural feeling but it is up to you not to feed into it. Once you start feeling this way, the first thing to do is be aware of it. When you start becoming aware of the jealousy issue, then you can tackle it by shifting your perspectives. Start thinking of all the good things that already have happened for you. Appreciate what you do have, not many people had the opportunity to do so. Not to say that you should ever compare yourself to anyone else nor should they with you but to remember that it shouldn’t matter what anyone else has or does because life is just too short.

Bottom line: Jealousy is just a complete waste of time and energy -so draining that it is just not worth it.

3) Be Supportive

It is okay to be happy for someone else. In fact, it is fundamental for a healthy relationship. When you truly can be happy for someone else, you will reap all the benefits that comes with it.

-When you are happy for others, you create happiness with yourself.

It really shows what type of person you are. When you share compassion and love with others, it is an act of selflessness, which helps you build your self-esteem. Happiness is quite infectious, that people can feel it and will want to be around you in such a positive environment.

-Be inspired by others

Instead of being jealous, let them inspire you instead.

– Team Work

“The nicest thing about teamwork is that you always have others on your side”- Margaret Carty. Isn’t that a beautiful quote? When you support others, you can find support from them.

Photo Copyrights belong to Lieurene Tran

4) Become a Local Nomad

Just because your travel buddy is traveling out of the country doesn’t mean you can’t still adopt the nomad life. The world may be big but we often forget that our own country have amazing sights and activities to do. No matter how long you may live in the country, there is never enough to see. There are many places that often go unnoticed because people usually focused on main attractions.

5) Set New Goals

As I mentioned above, it is not worth wasting your time by beating yourself up on what should have been, being jealous or whatever, instead focus on yourself. Make new goals for yourself. It can be anything such as learning a new language, cooking more often, exercising, saving more money, etc.

As for me, I often find myself making new travel goals and constantly updating it each day. I usually do research on the areas that I want to travel to and always being on the lookout for great travel deals. I find it to be motivating and exciting because it helps me look forward to the future.

6) Stay Busy

To overcome the negative feelings you may have, it is a great idea to keep busy. I highly encourage exercise as a great way to stay busy because it releases endorphin, which helps you feel good about yourself.  This is a great way to beat the depression. Another way to keep busy is by connecting with the blogging community, I find them as a great support system and great motivation. Find part time jobs or do odd jobs. Follow the goals you set up for yourself. There are many things to do to stay busy! The list is endless.

Photo by Picutres of Money via

7) Build Your Travel Funds

Come on, everyone wants to save money. I have read many travel bloggers are able to travel because they were able to save. While you take this time off from traveling, use this opportunity to build your travel funds.

Want to know how you can start saving money quickly? Check out my other post on saving money.

So when things don’t go with the way you plan and you find yourself not being able to join your travel buddy, it is really not the end of the world. There will always be abundant of other opportunities. Don’t feel so bad about not being able to travel at the moment, instead embrace the moment that you are alive at this very moment and live it, whether it is in your own country or on the other side of the world.

 Do you ever had this experience? How do you cope with it?

This Post Has 57 Comments

  1. Susan Nelson

    Love, love this post!! You have so much wisdom…your list is perfect. Thank you for sharing and reminding us that we make our choices to be productive, happy travelers. Brava!
    Susan Nelson recently posted…Scenes from LecceMy Profile

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Thank you! That means a lot! It’s all about being supportive of one another while making the best for yourself

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      I have yet to travel solo but I do plan to in the future. So it will be a whole new different experience 🙂

  2. Megsy

    It can be really hard to stay positive when someone is travelling without you. but flipping it around and turning it into motivation to be there by their side next time, is a much better approach rather than being a miserable lump. Great Tips for staying positive!

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Thanks for reading! Perfectly well said! 🙂

  3. We’ve both had the opportunity to travel to countries with our work over the years that the other one hasn’t been too – some of them we’ve returned to together but I’m still a little disappointed that I couldn’t stow away on Drew’s Antarctica trips.
    Toni | 2 Aussie Travellers recently posted…Eikan-do Temple in KyotoMy Profile

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Aw well at least you guys made the best of it and got to experience a lot of trips together! It’s hard, in general when one can experience something that the other can’t but glad to see that you both are still supportive though! Thanks for reading

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Hope this will help you cope better! Hope she can join you on your future travels! Thanks for reading and sharing 🙂

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      If that ever happen, hope you guys will be a great support to each other! That’s great though that you can travel full-time with your husband! Wishing you guys the best! Thanks for reading

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      That is truly amazing just how supportive he is! He is definitely a keeper 🙂 Thanks for reading

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Yep, I agree! It never hurts to take the time to save up again and still be a great supportive friend 🙂 Thanks for reading!

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Thanks! That means alot! I’m planning to embark on my solo travel journey soon in the future so I am looking forward for new experiences!

  4. Orana

    My husband LOVES to travel, Im more of a tag along and this usually means that he is going off on adventures and Im staying behind. I sometimes feel jealous, like when he went to angkor wat and I stayed in Bangkok.

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Aw well don’t feel so bad about not being able to join him, you can always find your own adventures where ever you are at. Hopefully you’ll have more of a chances to join on his future adventures though. Thanks for reading!

  5. Haley

    I often and actually prefer to travel alone. I think it’s all about priorites, my priority is to save money to travel. Many of my friends prefer to spend their time and money on going out and drinking, or buying a new car… Then they ask me how I can afford to travel!
    Haley recently posted…16 Top Tips For Travelling During RamadanMy Profile

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Yeah I definitely agree with that! Luckily Stacey and I are almost always on the same page and if not, then one will stay back while the other goes. For example, when Stacey and I were in Thailand, she wanted to zipline while I wanted to sit back and relax for the day. We’re budget travelers too since many times we do decline joining others just to save money. Thanks for reading!

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Yep, there are always different events and unseen places in your own country! Thanks for reading!

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Same here, there is always something to do in my own local area so I am always happy to check places out on my own as well. Thanks for reading!

  6. Emma Hart

    I’ve never really had a travel buddy as such, I’ve generally travelled on my own or with a bunch of friends. Maybe this post would help the people I’ve left behind when I’ve been off on my travels? 🙂

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Maybe it could! haha I have experienced traveling with my travel buddy, group of friends and family but I haven’t solo travel yet. That is one of my new travel goal though! Thanks for reading 🙂

  7. Kate

    This is great advice. I love how you’ve thought about a difficult situation and put a different perspective on it and turned it into a positive. Be a local nomad is my favourite. We can really forget about home and how great places are in our own country. This is the perfect list for staying positive when a loved one is going on a trip and you’re at home

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Thank you! That means alot! Thanks for reading 🙂

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Thank you! Thank you for reading 🙂

  8. alexa

    Love the ideas of a travel fund! Sets the intention and goal!

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Thank you! Yes, it’s a great feeling to set the intention and goal and anticipate it in the future 🙂

      Thank you for reading 🙂

  9. Amanda

    Great tips! Exploring your local country is a really awesome point that I think a lot of people forget to do. And, also traveling solo is fun, too! 🙂
    Amanda recently posted…10 Free Vegan Travel ToolsMy Profile

  10. melody pittman

    What a great post, never seen anything like that. 😉 My two best friends that I travel with once or twice a year, just had a trip to Costa Rica and one of them had to cancel due to a torn retina. Good news, she had travel insurance so now she and I are going on a Black Sea cruise next month. The friend that had to do Costa Rica solo ended up having the time of her life meeting all new people and just made the most out of it. I learned to always buy insurance and on the flip side, would have been fine to go alone.

  11. I am very sorry to hear of your disappointment, but it sounds like you’re handling it pretty well. I actually want to thank you for writing this post, because I experienced a pretty significant disappointment recently as well, but your words helped me. I especially love this paragraph:

    “It is so easy to give in to these emotions. But I ask myself, “why do I want to make myself feel bad and complain when I have no control over the situation? Is it really worth my time to continue putting myself through this misery?”

    So, chin up and thank you.
    Jolanta | Casual Traveler recently posted…Old Quebec Bus Tours: Les Tours du Vieux QuebecMy Profile

  12. Aishwarya S

    Losing a travel buddy seems really intense. I think you’ve stated all brilliant facts to cope up with it. Well written. 🙂

  13. Great Post! We do not travel full time (as much as I would love to) and it can be hard sometimes when there are long periods in between trips. But I like how you flipped it around. Take this time to refocus, get inspired, save, and make the best out of the time you have, no matter where you are at! That is what we try do, create mini adventures to keep the wanderlust at bay and focus on the goals ahead! Love it!
    Michelle | Diagnosis:Wanderlust recently posted…Announcing our Next DestinationMy Profile

  14. Erica

    Yup it does suck not being able to travel with your partner in crime, but you’re right, life does get in the way. The best you can do is stay supportive of each other. I hate when my husband has to stay behind but he won’t let that stop me from seeing the world.

  15. Loved your post! It’s true circumstances makes us do certain things in a different way than we would like and you have great tips to not suffer with that. I travel solo most of the times so don’t have this kind of issue, but I adore when I have a travel partner I can relate and share my experiences. All the best and happy travels!
    Gloria @NomadicChica recently posted…Travel to celebrate | InspirationMy Profile

  16. Sabine

    I like your first advice “accept it” and I guess that is what you will have to do. I’m fortunate enough to have mostly been travelling with my partner but otherwise, just accept it and go with next time 🙂
    Sabine recently posted…Toilets of the World – A Bog With a ViewMy Profile

  17. karla

    When I read this, I immediately sent it to my travel buddy. Sometimes you find that one person whose travel style complements yours. However, somewhere down the road, the other might have other priorities or need to save again to be able to travel. Its true, you have to be supportive of each other. I like this article
    karla recently posted…Comment on Exploring Up North : Tuguegarao by natalietannerMy Profile

  18. christine

    I learned to cope after my travel buddy decided she could;t travel anymore.. such a bummer!!

  19. Natasha Amar

    I travel solo mostly and given the nature of my husband’s work, he does accept quite well when I do, knowing he cannot make it every time. But I can imagine if you have a travel buddy, letting go of the jealousy can be pretty tough. Especially if you love travel as much as we bloggers do. We’re constantly feeding on travel FOMO!
    Natasha Amar recently posted…Ancient Ephesus: Of Roman Ruins & Feline KeepersMy Profile

  20. TravelGretl

    Nice to see it from the other side 🙂 I am mostly the one going on travels alone, when my travel buddy stays home. He’s not so infected with the travel virus though, so he manages better than I would 😉

  21. Alexis

    Lots of great tips here! My travel buddy is my husband, but because of work obligations, etc, there are times when we have to go separately.

  22. I do love my solo travelling, and if I can’t travel I drive around and explore local area

  23. Suprio Bose

    This is by far the most inspirational travel blogs I have seen. You inspire me to travel Stacey, keep rocking.

  24. Molly Green

    Love this! I’m definitely dealing with this feeling right now. Thank you for sharing!

    1. deafinitelywanderlust

      Aw hope you can travel soon! Hang in there. Thanks for reading!

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